booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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