Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
