I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize