If that was your dad, he is hot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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