I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
