Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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