Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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