So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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