never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
