omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
