3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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