Non-Jews are for practice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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