do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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