I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
