if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
