As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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