Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
