Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
