he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize