I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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