btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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