seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
