how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
