Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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