Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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