According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
