What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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