Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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