woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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