he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
