Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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