I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
