I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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