I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it was like eating out sand paper
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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