so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
