I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
