remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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