.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We had to coat check the pizza.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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