just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
