I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He passed out mid-signature
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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