My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
