You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
