how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
