I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
