i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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