when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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