alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize