i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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