There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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