Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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