But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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