What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
