This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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