The maid of honor just puked.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
