TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize