this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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