I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
