I wish i was in the wii world.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
