Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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