Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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