put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
