I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
