I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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