O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just had sex on a roof
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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